Let us start with a comment:
Robert:
“I left dating (or more correctly was kicked out) long before MGTOW was coined. I became exhausted with all my polite and respectful effort getting me nothing but rejection and humiliation. The superficiality and hypocrisy of women was more than I could deal with. It took some time, but I’m happy now. I have great friends, hobbies and a successful career. Once or twice over the years, ‘in-debt-single-mothers with homes in desperate need of repair have shown interest — but no thanks. I wasn’t good enough for them when they were in their teens and 20s, and they are not good enough for me in my 30s and 40s. What goes around, comes around ladies.”
And now an interesting video on the topic:
Two more comments:
Map:
“If you’re on a date and the woman says I’m an independent strong feminist. I don’t need a man just walk away. In a nutshell she’s telling you you’re disposable. That’s how she sees men. She’s the princess and the prize. She’ll let you pursue her until she gets bored and finds someone else.”
Man:
“After doing the married thing once and having to bend over and grab my ankles in the divorce, there is no reason for me to date since I would never get married again. I said this 14 years ago so I’m not a disgruntled ex husband. I’ve had more fun and have literally gone around the world after the divorce. I truly feel like I’m getting away with murder with the life that I live.”
From Wikipedia, which can only be trusted for this type of reference:[1]
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other’s suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the category of courtship, consisting of social events carried out by the couple either alone or with others. [1]
Dating as a social practice is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging only within the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have changed rapidly, having been subject to the effects of advances in technology and medicine. As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial adjustments in relations between people, with perhaps the only remaining biological constant being that a woman and man must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen. [1]
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by parents and older relatives with the goal not being love but legacy and “economic stability and political alliances”, according to anthropologists.[1] Accordingly, there was little need for a temporary trial period such as dating before a permanent community-recognized union was formed between a man and a woman. [1]
Here is a message from a girl:
“This happens to me all the time. I meet men, I connect with them and then they just don’t want to date me. I’m tired of this cycle. I don’t know if men are the problem or is it me?” — Girl, Solo
Another girl:
“Why can’t I find a single decent guy to marry? I am beautiful, rich, kind, highly educated and smart. I am 28. My parents are dying to get me married and I just don’t know what to do. I feel helpless.”
Another:
“Why can’t I find a man who wants to marry me?”
Another desperate cry:
“Nobody wants to marry me. What do I do?”
Lucy:
“I’m 32 and nobody wants to marry me. Am I the only one or are there others with the same problem?”
Another:
“Why can’t I find a husband?”
Another:
“I’m very lonely because I can’t find a husband due to my extremely unattractive face and personality. It seems like no one likes me in this world.”
Another:
“I’m nearly 50. I actually spent years from childhood praying for God to send me a husband. He never did answer my prayer.”
Why girls cannot find a husband.
There is no single answer. We shall go through some points.
(1) Toxic Characteristics.
Men will say it is the woman’s fault why she can’t find a spouse. Women will say is is man’s fault. Every point I make is likely to rile one side or the other. And there is the first point. The blame game. Everything is somebody else’s fault. Feminism told women that ‘men are toxic’. The illogic was followed by women saying they wanted to be like men. So, have women become toxic? I give you a fairly crummy meme. Yet the comment include: My mom is all of these. Don’t dismiss the meme if you have any of these traits. You may be toxic.
Comments:
Kitty
My mom is all of these.
Kitty
I’m also a little bit of all of them.
Elena
I’m the controller and the compulsive liar.
Jessica
Stay at least fifty feet away from me.
Mochi
I’m all of them.
Raaina
Sorry, but I’m kinda narcissistic.
Noodle:
I attract friends that seem to be a mix of all of these. When I was little I had a friend like these, in primary school, then later primary school to highschool, and I just escaped a friendship of two people who have given me serious trauma. Therapist and my mum said its probably because I give people too many chances. I stood up to my last toxic friend and I got told to off myself basically.
Get rid of any toxic habits permanently. When boys ask me how to attract girls, I tell them to be the type of male that girls would be attracted to. Work out what girls like in a male and be that man — permanently. That is the real you. The same goes for girls. Work out what a man likes in a female. Be that women — permanently. That is the ‘real’ you.
(2) Unrealistic Expectations.
I regularly explain this as a story: Under the banner of equality, girls got sent to schools designed for boys. Schools for boys encourage boys to use words and logic to communicate and ignore emotions. Society would be a problematic place if men were emotional. If you have seen a small boy chuck a ‘hissy fit’, you will understand. If men showed their emotions when upset or angry, there would be a lot of broken faces and girls would get very bruised whenever they upset a male. So, schools for boys must encourage communication by logic and words. It also turns them into good warriors and workers. A problem arises for girls. They start to think that communication is by words and logic. Girls have far superior emotional competence. This enables the girl to influence the emotions of the male such that the girl becomes the centre of his happiness. She becomes the light in his life. Girls are much more powerful when they are ‘sweet and innocent because males become weak when a female is quiet and demure. I have to teach girls to use strategic silence. I was in a hostel in Marrakech, Morocco run by a Muslim family. after a couple of days, the boys, young men of the family asked me business type questions. I commented: ” I notice that when you males walk down the street, you walk tall and strong. The girls walk with their eyes down as if they wish to hide. But int he house, I see the women wagging their fingers at the men and the men doing what is required.” The answer was: “Yes. In the street, we are like lions, but in the house, we are like rabbits.” The girl quietly controls. I see this in every society I visit.
Yet, the Western girl is making the demands out loud. She is using logic to write a shopping list of what she wants in a man. Girls all have the same list. Any male that fits the list, will be sleeping with every girl in town. A blog comment sums it up:
They are “complaining they can’t get a man despite never understanding they are creating their own problems with insane expectations and delusional thinking.”
What makes a relationship interesting, is the differences between male and female. Similarities are almost non-existent. We are not the same. We are different which was previously characterized by “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.” The following nursery rhyme was sung for a reason:
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips, snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails
That’s what little boys are made of
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And all things nice
That’s what little girls are made of [4]
The above is ‘hate speech’. However, by media manipulation, hate speech against males is applauded. As males, we follow what our mothers taught us: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but calling names won’t hurt me.” Ironically, it is women at both ends of the stick.
Your chance of finding a perfect partner is zero. Similarly, your chance of finding a prefect person is zero. They don’t exist. If your obsession with logic has caused you to draw up a list of partner requirements, you have already failed. Your ideal partner is somebody that can tolerate your flawed personality. Reality is different to the fairytales and fiction that you have been fed. Is your mum perfect? Is your dad perfect. You probably see traits in them that you have decided to not emulate yourself. Appreciate good traits like kindness, intelligence, wisdom, humour, and ambition. Is he able to tolerate your flawed personality. So long as his perfections outweigh his imperfections by a large margin, then you should give the relationship a chance. Be realistic about your expectations and stop chasing shadows and fairytales. On this notebook keyboard, the delete key is next to the shut-down key. I swore. I thought I had lost this paragraph. I am flawed. I don’t update often enough. But people love me!
(3) Age
Men have the advantage here. What a male sees as beauty is bound into the subconscious. As far as I can observe, a beautiful girl is one that he perceives to be a good mother. So the perfect figure as suggested in the magazines is not essential. So a kindly nature is beautiful. I complement a girl if I detect that a girl has a ‘kindly heart’. Girls with less than ‘glossy magazine’ figures often outclass trim females as they put a lot more effort into creating and maintaining a relationship. Age is significant. A younger female is seen as more virile. She has better breeding potential. My mother, now deceased, had me, the eldest child, when she was twenty-one. Girls are at peak beauty between, let us say, between eighteen and twenty three, although it may start before that. I have to say eighteen to stay within the accepted norms. Boys at eighteen are often hopeless. By twenty-one, they have ‘manned up’. They are more ‘manly’, which is a strange expression because they are a man irrespective. By twenty-eight, they are highly desirable males. They have greater life experience. They have greater income and may even have a house and car. So the twenty-eight year old is more desirable to a girl than the eighteen-year old boy. So we get the expression: “Women grow old and men become sophisticated.” and “Men age like fine wine.”
What is noticeable is that when an eighteen year old girl or a twenty-one-year-old girl walks down the street, male heads turn. When a twenty-eight-year-old girl walks down the street, she is mostly ignored. Girls at thirty become invisible. Much social media is directed to the topic of women ‘hitting the wall’ at thirty. They bedded many men in their low twenties with a total lack of logic suggesting this will not continue. A boy at eighteen will only have eighteen year old girls chasing him whilst the eighteen year old girl can attract men from eighteen to twenty-eight. The twenty-eight-year-old male can attract attention from girls from eighteen to thirty five. The game for girls is of a rapidly diminishing prospect. Like the sperm, yu have no time to stop and chat. You have to get on with ‘it’. This would be why in the old days they used to get them married early by twenty one. At twenty-one the girl is at her peak, but the male has yet to reach his peak. The girl has a male that will mature and improve. The boy is tied to the girl. Interestingly, when an old man thinks of his aging wife, his mind has an image locked in place from their first meetings. He mind recalls her young sweet smile and general innocence that he ‘stole’ by his devious attention. His mind recorded permanently her looks from the first time he got her top off. And so the behaviour of old men is contained. Rich men with freedom only chase young females. Nature was not fair. Girls, you need to tie down the first compatible man that comes your way. You have to become his main source of happiness and joy. He will then care for you the remainder of your life.
I have often asked the old blokes: “How often do you say to your wife: ‘That’s illogical.’?” The answer tends to be: “Quite often.” But they don’t love their wives any less for perceived illogically. So, girls, so not assume that you have a high level of logic. Generally, your man, well treated, will look after you better than you look after yourself.
The last item I must say on age is a regular observation. I deal with groups of young people. I need to say something to an eighteen year old girl in a noisy environment. I tap her on the shoulder and she spins around with eyes alight with interest and warmly thanks me for my assistance. If I have a group of twenty-eight-year-olds, the girl spins around with a harsh glare in her eye with the suggestion that the intrusion is not welcome. Her reply is a dismissive acceptance. Girls at eighteen attract. Girls at twenty-eight repel. Whether you like it or not, your manner at twenty-eight will be detected as toxic and you will repel males. Males will be repelled both by you and by their experiences with other aging females. This next story highlights the issue:
Zeleno Jabko
“I asked a woman for a date at work twice in a span of two years, and she reported me to the HR. It was a two month long extremely brutal process and I almost got fired. I cannot apply for promotion for one year. I do not get a bonus (25% yearly salary). I will have a ‘sexual harassment’ on my record for the next year. I feel extremely humiliated. Guys, stay away from women at work. Even if you end up dating and then break up, she still has the power of HR to use against you.”
(4) Status
Never forget that in the whole of the animal kingdom, the male’s only task is to chase females. The rules were changed when we became civilised. Men had to prove their worth by demonstrating productivity. Feminisms bizarre demand that women join the masses of miserable workers has undermined his ability to demonstrate what is require by civilization. Expect issues if you go for a inappropriately classed ‘status’ job. I would not want to sit in a small office with no natural light seeing people that were sick all day. I would not want to look down people’s throats all day. men were tricked into going for status ‘jobs’ for a reason. We need trained people to run a nation. Girls have fallen for the same trick. The problem is is messes with the established strata in society.
Men tend to avoid women who come off as intimidating and overly independent. Suitable men will continue to steer clear of you. You have to deal with reality, not the fake reasoning from the poisonous lecturers at your college. By the time you work out that your mind was poisoned by illogic at college, you will ‘hit the wall’ at thirty and become invisible. At best, you may find a balding fifty year old office clerk tolerate you for a while.
At these schools set up for boys, the suggestion was: “Are you good enough to be in the top class.’ Success was deemed to be the passing of exams. At university, the suggested question was: “Are you good enough to pass our exams.” So the status that you exude when talking to people is one associated with high achievement. You are in the top ten percent academically of the nation. The bright male who saw through their charade at school and made little effort because he was more interested in fixing mechanical items, failed those same exams. Although he is a successful plumber with the possibility of expanding his business, he will perceive your judging by academic success rather than practical success. He will detect your condescending nature and may even see it as condescending. He does not value your academic success and does not need a woman that puts higher store in fairytale stories of academic status than family skills. You are on the bottom level of the ladder to him. He does not need you as baggage on his progress as a popular businessman. Forget your degrees, they are bogus and useless. If someone wants to play academic success games with me, I mention that I graduated as a Mechanical Engineer. I may even mention that it was at Imperial College, London. I then go back to discussing emotional influence and interactions between people or stories of my travels around the world, to cut their pedestal from them.
I asked my mother a few years ago: “Which do you remember most, your family or your career?” Without hesitation, she answered: “My family.” I asked how often did she think of them. The answer was: “All day long.”
It will be sad if you don’t realise that education is a con job. The nation needs doctors and dentists and so on. You don’t need it. I am happier without all the stress of status jobs. I drive a bus and have three months overseas holidays each year.
Education will stuff your life up in so many ways. It is quite clear that ‘strong’ successful women have difficulty attracting a quality man. Analyze some words in that last sentence. Strong possibly could be replaced with ‘insufferable’ or ‘obnoxious’. Successful could possibly be replaced with ‘arrogant’ or ‘delusional’. Why should this woman class herself as ‘strong’? Does she manage to undo the lids of jam jars without asking a man, or does she lift heavy weights. What does successful mean. My mother was a ‘successful’ mother. She asked for assistance to remove jam jar lids. She was a successful and immensely popular primary school teacher, but she never mentioned her career at home. If your ‘success’ at a career is that important, go buy a cat and stew in national pride at your contribution as another paid mechanic maintaining society. Males have an expression: ‘High maintenance.’ as in high-maintenance female. It can apply to males or females, but we are trying to sort the problems of girls here. It might be described as: Requiring a lot of attention. When describing a person, high-maintenance usually means that the individual is emotionally needy or prone to over-dramatizing a situation to gain attention.’ Make suer you do not fall into this category.
Statistics also comes into this. If the female is in the upper quadrant of the IQ bell curve, she may be looking for males in the same quadrant. Males in the upper quadrant will accept girls of most quadrants if she has other acceptable qualities. You may have a distorted view of your value to a male. You may lack other qualities desirable to a male including looks and youthfulness. You further limit your range with IQ demands. Professional women can be very discriminating, and look for their equal, or better, which for the most part is neither interested nor available.
A tough answer for a difficult topic — mates for professionally focused women. Beauty to a male tends to be based on a female that would make a good mother. A professionally focused woman writes herself out of the book by being focused on career. If your career is more important than family, you are not good marriage material. If you are not prepared to give 110% to family, males are not interested. Males detect your dedication to family care by the care you give the male before you have children. Men then accept that they care they receive diminishes because it is now directed to the offspring.
Here is an excellent analysis by Deepak Jangid, although he finishes with a whinge:
Why is dating so hard for men but so easy for women?
Following are the reason:
- Guys have to be well above average looking (top 20%) if they want women to approach or flirt with you. Women only have to be average-looking to get endless attention and proposals.
- Guys have to be taller than average female height. If you’re 5’4 and male…well don’t even bother looking at women unless you go to a midget convention.
- Guys above a certain age (say 25) have to have status; own home, money… even a car.
- Women can be unemployed, live at home and still get dates.
- Guys have to have at least equal educational status to the girls they want to date. Pref. women want a guy above them in educational status.
- Guys are trapped to a gender role. Guys have to show they are desired by other women (in demand). This is why so many women fall for married men, and so few value single, unpopular men.
- Guys have to show they are respected by other men.
- Guys have to show alpha male traits and be assertive.
- Women just have to be healthy looking (as in not being fat). Simple as that. An average-looking female as soon as she walks outside will have dozens of guys ready to date you. As a man you have to work hard as hell just for one girl to look at you.
- Men have to do all the first moves and must prove himself a good catch. Women only have to sit there and not be fat.
- Women can get the numbers of 180 men out of 200 guys. Men if lucky can get 5 numbers out of 200 women.
- At the end of the day as a man, I question my existence as a man. Is life really worth it if women and society only need you for utilitarian purposes?
As an average-looking male I’m freaking tired of this disposable feeling I get when I’m around females in general. I’ve seen it so many times when a guy is sick of his gender role in the world of dating. Women discard his existence while other men punish him for it.
The good man and masculinity.
In past times, the definition of a ‘good man’ was in terms of the man’s usefulness to women. ‘He is a good man.’ means ‘He looks after his wife and children.’ It means he is selfless. He holds women in higher regard than himself. Since the outburst of sexual revolution and feminism, manliness has gained a new meaning. It suggests that he has bedded many females. I noticed it at the begining in the music of the sixties in my youthful years. They carefully let it escape that our heroic singers were bedding groupies on a daily basis and often numerous females in a day. Rod stuart sings: “Spread your wings and let me come inside.” The lyrics of Rolling Stones ‘Balck Sugar’ strangely got past the censors. ‘Start me up’ by the Rolling Stones has a chorus ‘You make a grown man cry‘. However, the last chorus is: ‘you could make a dead man cum’. Again, it got past the censors. The censors have no power anymore and the rap music our young listen to commonly has lyrics like ‘get on your knees bitch and suck my dick.’ Author: Miya Yamanouchi writes:
“Male social conditioning encourages boys and men to aim to bed as many women as possible….so much so, that their self esteem and self worth become intertwined with the number of sexual partners they have; and when that number is low or even zero, so too is their self-confidence.” – Author: Miya Yamanouchi
The Sexual Cartel
Margaret Wente [5] asks where all the good men have gone. She comes to the conclusion that women need a ‘sex cartel’:
…it’s up to us to make the rules. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” my father used to say. It drove me crazy when he said that. Now, it’s dawned on me that he was right.
Since the women’s cartel collapsed, women’s bargaining power has seriously eroded. That’s why so many single women hate Tinder, which has further commodified sex for the benefit of men. Women are just another consumer good in the shop window. [5]
Women had a sex cartel before they fell for the illogic of feminism. The claim that men could be promiscuous does not hold water. Males could not get plentiful sex because women would not let them. Any woman that let men have sex without applying the severe conditions of marriage was called a ‘slut’. She was a slut because she sold pussy too cheaply. Before a male could get into a woman’s knickers, he had to get on his knee and promise to support her with a wage packet and total devotion. For men, sex was expensive. The price the man paid was a long-term commitment to provide for a woman — and the resultant children. Sex is now cheap. Enterprising males get copious sex as women give sex for a fun night.
The sex game changed with three major changes.
- The ‘Pill’ divorced sex from reproduction enabling recreational sex.
- Freely available pornography allowed men to release sexual desire without intimacy. (Without the problems of dealing with a woman!)
- Dating sites make it easy for men to find willing sex partners.
Sexual liberation allows men to act like louts, because women don’t expect much in return for access. Mr. Regnerus writes that today’s mating market is probably more dominated by men’s interests than ever before.
If you wonder why men are no longer performing in school, and exchanging careers for video games, the answer is simple. Men have realized that young women today, under the influence of feminism, are not interested in traditional husbands during their late teens and 20s. During these years, women are interested in travel, fun, drinking, hook-ups and cohabitation with amoral atheists. This is what I have personally observed. In the minds of young women, the highest value men are good-looking men who have no religion, and make no moral judgments, and are left of center politically – especially on abortion. There are many good men who are romantic about women from their youth, and want to get married. But when they see what young women really want, they just give up on school and work, since doing the traditional male roles has no value to young women. Many good men even give up on morality and Christianity because they want a relationship with a woman so badly.
The average American woman is getting married 7.0 years later than she did in 1956, and the average American man is getting married 6.7 years later than he did back at that time.[3]
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating[2] https://theswaddle.com/woe-is-me-why-do-men-i-meet-never-want-to-date-me/
[3] https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/738660776390772806/
[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Are_Little_Boys_Made_Of%3F#cite_note-Opie1997-1
[5] Margaret Wente at the Globe and Mail*
