Transcript
0:00If you could give a single girl some dating advice what would you say to her? How old?
0:05Let’s say she’s like 21. Oh 21 [ __ ]. Just bang them all! Bang them all. Because men are
0:15so immature that you’re not going to… you’re not going to lock anyone down… you’re… don’t,
0:21don’t even start thinking yet about the husband stuff. But I will say, bang dudes quietly. Don’t
0:29tell everybody. Shut the [ __ ] up about it. Just go do your business. Bang girls,
0:35bang guys, bang [ __ ] dogs, trans, whatever you want. But keep an eye out for the good ones in
0:41your college. Uhhuh. You know what I’m saying, like keep the solid dudes in your back pocket.
0:46Like befriend them but don’t [ __ ] them or date them or nothing until you’re kind of like older
0:52and you’re ready to like settle down with a boy. And then call that that guy up, like that one you
0:57had your eyes on and I’ll be like “what’s up”? There will be some people who think that that
1:02was good advice. If what she’s saying is true, it sounds like there’s absolutely no downside to it.
1:09And if people are willing to go along with it, why not just use different people for different
1:13purposes at different times in life? But there’s one big inescapable problem with all of this:
1:20Every action has consequences. Our ideas become our thoughts. Our thoughts become our actions. Our
1:27actions become our habits. And our habits become who we are. If you’re living your life chasing
1:33short-term gratification and short-term adventure, you’re unlikely to ever develop the sort of mental
1:38framework you need to be able to endure through the peaks and troughs, good times and dry spells,
1:44of a romantic relationship. And maybe some people end up being able to hit the brakes and stop just
1:49in time, but most people aren’t able to judge that before they get there. And you need to stop
1:55well before you get there to be ready. For both men and women the more sexual partners we have
2:00before marriage, the less happy we are likely to be during that marriage. Likewise the more sexual
2:06partners someone has the more likely they are to be unfaithful during marriage. Data from the US
2:11General Social Survey found that the number of lifetime sexual partners in women who cheated on
2:16their husbands was 2.3 times higher than those who did not. If we break this down further,
2:21compared with women who only had one sexual partner in their life, women with 2 to 4 sexual
2:26partners were six times more likely to cheat, 5 to 10 partners were 9.47 times more likely, 11 to 20
2:33Partners were 14 times more likely and those with more than 20 Partners were 16 times more likely
2:40to cheat. Even ignoring the huge part of the other side, the men, and what they might think of this,
2:46what part of this sounds like a good idea? Someone telling you that promiscuity is all pro
2:52and no cons, is lying to you. If you’re the girl willing to bang them all, you’ll get attention
2:59but not many men will be taking you seriously. Men don’t care about a woman’s sexual past,
3:05unless he loves her, and wants to see her and her sexual expression and receptiveness and
3:10response as special. Then it matters a lot. It’s important to be very selective as a woman because
3:18men have all a very understandable, but from a woman’s perspective extremely frustrating,
3:25double standard with respect to female chastity. Chastity is something that they would highly prize
3:31in a wife and don’t want to see anything in a casual lover. And there’s also the problem of
3:37supply. While there are a lot of men willing to have sex with most women, there aren’t always a
3:41lot of men willing to commit to a relationship and there are some who leave it too late or at
3:47least until they’re in a much weaker position. The dating market is like the job market,
3:51which is like any market. Those with the qualities that make them the highest in demand are able to
3:56decide where they end up. There are of course exceptions just like there are some people who
4:01smoke their whole lives but somehow never get cancer or never get heart disease. But
4:06the exceptions don’t prove the rule. A woman planning to call that guy up when she’s ready,
4:11expecting him to be available and waiting for her may very well find out that he is
4:16no longer available. Maybe he liked her at one point, but saw that she wasn’t interested in
4:21building something long-term. And if he had any sense of self-worth, he would have moved
4:25on and found someone who was. While sex is cheap and plentiful good long-term partners,
4:31with good habits and values, are hard to find. And well you snooze, you lose. Related to this,
4:38out of every 10 women who end up without children, only 1 of them decided from the
4:42start that she didn’t want to have them. Another 1 of them discovered that she was unable to. Which
4:47leaves 8 out of 10 childless women who thought that they would have children, but in reality it
4:53never happened. Opportunities cannot be taken for granted. Good partners who can be good parents are
5:00rare. And again, you snooze, you most probably lose. So doesn’t the older woman in this video
5:08know better? Why do some older women give advice like this to younger women? Well because while
5:14older men see themselves in the lives of younger men, older women see themselves AS younger women
5:20and in competition with younger women. And women in general are much more covertly competitive than
5:25men. A study published in January this year found that women, when put in the hypothetical scenario
5:31of having to advise how much hair a woman should cut off, they were more likely to recommend that
5:36those other women go for shorter haircuts. Because they knew that that would sabotage
5:41the competition. We see the same thing in the body positivity movement. If her friends are fatter,
5:46they’re less likely to get attention, so that means more for her. So she will encourage that
5:51behavior while pretending to be on their side. And this isn’t exclusive to women. I had a male
5:57friend once who advised me against dating girl, pretending to have my best interests at heart,
6:02whereas in fact he just wanted to date her. But I think that this covert rivalry is much more common
6:09among women. Men are much more likely to be open about their competitiveness. As with all advice be
6:16careful who you listen to. Sometimes misery just loves company. The comedian Bill Burr once said
6:22that no man is ever honest with women because they’re too busy trying to [ __ ] them. This is
6:27why fathers and brothers are so important in the lives of women. They are perhaps the only men who
6:32are not interested sexually, and so they can give a male perspective without a hidden agenda. In any
6:39case, find the pros and cons in each possible decision. Anyone who tells you that something
6:45doesn’t have any downsides, is lying to you. I hope this message was helpful see you next time.
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