I’ve had many, many conversations over the years with blue pill men about red pill ideas. Interestingly, most of the men I’ve talked to have been pretty open to what I was talking about. At least in general terms my observations about men, women and the behavior typical to both resonated with them. I’ve routinely found men nodding agreeably as I described some of their not-so-positive experiences with women in relationship life. They did so even as some of them instinctively glanced over their shoulder, as if to make sure no one was seeing them agree with me.
Plenty of them even quietly acceded to my calling them out on their tendency to tolerate abuse, to enable and play white knight in order to stay out of the dog house. A life spent in some measure of frustration, trying to placate an errant child, of jumping through hoops to keep an uneasy peace is common to a lot of men. Sure, some men don’t share this experience. And some men claim they don’t. You can hear them bragging about how they are in charge of relationships when the woman isn’t listening. But most men I have talked to in relationships identify with this to one degree or another.
Most of them can chuckle at themselves a little bit when they talk about how they put up with the childish demands and entitled attitudes of their female counterparts. Some of them, without compunction, even cast themselves metaphorically as powerless little schoolboys, fearful of being sent to the principle’s office, represented by the disapproval of their wives or girlfriends. They do this with no sense of embarrassment, as though they think all men live this way. And of course, there are plenty of men who do.
All this introspective honesty, this good-natured self-disclosure, takes a nosedive, however, when I’ve talked to men as fathers, vs just husbands or boyfriends. In that matter things become, shall we say, pricklier.
You see, it is pretty easy for a man to admit that petulant childishness is the default setting for a whole lot of women once they settle into a relationship. Most men will just nod their heads knowingly and shrug it off because in their minds, that’s just the way women are.
It’s quite another matter when you start to talk about the role of fathers in instilling said petulance and childishness; when you acknowledge that “Daddy’s little girl,” is highly prone to grow up (or just get older) and become “Daddy’s little bitch,” or much worse.
It’s quite ironic, listening to a man complain about how his wife has crazy unreal expectations. He bemoans the fact that she cannot be satisfied, no matter what he does. He claims that he pulls his hair out trying to figure out how to satisfy her endless demands only to be met with more disapproval and, of course, more demands. He wonders aloud how she ever learned to be such a bottomless pit, and such a bitch about it.
Then you go watch him interact with his four-year old daughter, whom he will endlessly coddle and for whom he will go to any measure to make sure she never lacks anything, no matter how trivial.
And it doesn’t stop when she turns five. Or fifteen, or twenty-five. When it comes to turning human females into paragons of pissy entitlement, the western father has few rivals.
I remember well former vice-president Joe Biden talking about being routinely physically abused by his older sister, informing the world that his parents would have “gone nuclear” if he had ever defended himself. That was the family rules, and they were not negotiable. The girl got to inflict physical pain on the other children with impunity. The boys got to take it. As Biden recounted, he “had the bruises to prove it.”
My clinical experience informs me that the Bidens weren’t by any means the only family who operated on the premise that assault was permissible by girls, and self-defense by boys was strictly verboten.
Often, the main enforcer of this lopsided affair is the alleged family patriarch. Along with the idea of bodily autonomy for the girl only is often a whole slew of double standards reflecting the fact that Daddy’s little girl has Daddy wrapped around her little finger.
After all, has anyone ever coined a phrase describing how a son has a parent wrapped around his little finger? Of course not, because it largely doesn’t happen. The closest thing you’ll ever hear to that is the term “Mama’s Boy” which is an entirely different story.
A “Mama’s Boy,” which implies blind service to the mother, is a pejorative pointing to the general weakness of the son and the power of the mother. Having Daddy wrapped around your little finger implies just the opposite. It is the raw sexual power of the female, and the powerlessness of the father, even with daughter in the state of childhood. She can just crawl into Daddy’s lap, wrap her little arms around his neck and get her way, every time. He just melts. I will spare us all an analysis of the Freudian implications of that little scenario. It’s too gross to go into. Suffice it to say that both family scenarios involve females with power and males without it.
Fathers, in this regard, generally don’t take well to a discussion of the subject. I’ve talked to several of them about enabling dads who treat their little girls like princesses, effectively turning them into cunts who are destined to make a succession of men completely miserable, and who will, in the end, be miserable themselves. Nobody can hold on to any kind of happiness when chronic, insanely unrealistic expectations are the expected path to get there. That’s the curse of modern womanhood. It’s why so many of them are miserable, and why they feel justified in making others miserable when their plans fall apart.
Now, at some point in the conversations with a handful of these fathers, they seemed to reach a snapping point. “Wait a minute,” they’d say, in a suddenly serious and demanding tone, “You’re not talking about me and my daughter, are you?” They weren’t kidding.
“Why not at all,” I lied, aware that we were getting into dangerous territory.
Here I was talking to guys who were so not enabling or over-protective of or unreasonable about their daughters that they looked to be willing to go fisticuffs with a 6’8” 280-pound man if he got too close to the truth.
Either that, or they were reacting chivalrously to an imagined slight against their little princess. I’ll let you decide.
There is a great deal that goes into creating a society of women who feel so entitled to unrealistic demands of men that they make themselves and everyone else suffer.
Certainly, as I mentioned earlier, feminism has played a huge role. So, have obsequious, spineless men. The kind who never met a woman they wouldn’t bend over backwards to please. There’s also basic biology. Men are driven to scatter seeds and the greatest majority of them want and need women’s permission and approval to do it. That alone has them urging women toward very unrealistic expectations in the long term. Very few men can maintain the lengths they go through to achieve sexual conquest. We hear women complain about that all the time.
Indeed, as we look at all this from the aerial view, we see that men in one form or another, are the main culprits. It’s entirely arguable that feminists are only demanding of men what they know men will ultimately give them, reasonable or not. So, in that light, the sole enablers of all this nonsense are men.
That includes fathers.
Fathers are the first arena where women learn their expectations of men. Fathers are the gateway to hypergamy and gynocentrism. They are women’s first lessons in all-take no-give relationships, and where they begin to learn the sheer awesomeness of their sexual power.
Consider that the next time you see a father walking hand in hand with a little girl wearing a tiara and a t-shirt with the word “Princess” written in glitter across the front. Think of it when you hear a teenage girl gush about all the things her Daddy buys for her, or when you hear a father boast that “nothing’s too good for my little girl,” when they would not dream of saying the same about their sons.
Think about it a little more when you see entire families enable abusive girls; when their relational and other forms of aggression are allowed to flourish at the expense of everyone else, particularly the boys.
And if you ever wonder why corrupt, disingenuous ideologies of privilege, like feminism, are so warmly received by a generation of females who think entitlement is the natural order of things, then take a deeper look at how they got there.
If you are looking clearly, you’ll see that chivalrous fathers are a big part of the problem. They shape the training ground for feminists and narcissists. And they will indeed get angry, possibly violent, when you call them out on it.
So, in most cases, it’s better to just let it be. There’s nothing to be gain by standing between Daddy and his Little Nightmare. Life will deliver its own consequences.
by Paul Elam
Source: https://www.avoiceformen.com/gynocentrism/daddys-little-nightmare/
Comments:
Thoughtcrime
True, but mothers also do a very good job of raising entitled princesses. I’ve bought my nine year old daughter almost nothing yet she has her own play room filled with toys she barely uses. Almost all of it has been bought by her mother, grandmother, and the mothers of her friends. I call it ‘stuffocation’ and have long resented being the one who always says ‘no’. I’ve told my wife this but nothing changes. On a positive note, my daughter rarely pesters me to buy her anything and is growing up to be surprisingly generous, caring, and empathetic. What concerns me most are the attempts at feminist indoctrination through the education system. I try to inoculate her against it but only time will tell whether she internalises the poisonous ideology. One thing is certain, she can be my daughter or a feminist but not both.
Da Booby
So many excellent quotes:
“Certainly, as I mentioned earlier, feminism has played a huge role. So, have obsequious, spineless men.”
“Indeed, as we look at all this from the aerial view, we see that men in one form or another, are the main culprits. It’s entirely arguable that feminists are only demanding of men what they know men will ultimately give them”
“Fathers are the first arena where women learn their expectations of men. Fathers are the gateway to hypergamy and gynocentrism. They are women’s first lessons in all-take no-give relationships, and where they begin to learn the sheer awesomeness of their sexual power.”
Bravo. The Booby believes that arresting feminism starts with making better men. An un-confident man is putty in the hands of a manipulator. A man who is ignorant about the world and too sheepish to speak his mind acquiesces to the opinions of others. A man who can’t manage his own life, money, and affairs is easily trapped in dependency relationships.
Samantha Stephens
Female entitlement can not exist without male enforcement.
And yes, much of it begins with Daddy. Many men on this sight have often responded to my comments with – “Sam, you sure are different from most women” or (I love this one, and am quite honored by it) “Sam you think like a man.”
I think both of those statements pretty much ring true.
A huge part of the reason for me being “different from most women” goes back to my childhood. I have four brothers, and my Father raised me exactly the same as he raised them. No special treatment, No “princess” entitlement. No “Daddy’s little girl.” If I stepped out of line I got a good smack, just as my brothers did. I was raised to work just as much and just as hard as they did. Because of my upbringing I have respect for men and the great contributions they make to our world, and a deep hatred for feminism and the “princesses” who subscribe to it’s elitist ideology. I also have a great marriage because I don’t expect my husband to be some sort of submissive slave like so many women who started life as “Daddy’s little Princess” do.
“Life will deliver it’s own consequences.”
How true.
Today’s spoiled little Princess is destined to become tomorrows hate sick, miserable feminist crone, all because nothing was too good for Daddy’s little girl.
YetAnotherCommenter
A harsh article, but one that’s unquestionably true.
I hate to resort to evo psych, but there’s an obvious reason behind this. The man needs to prove an uncertain social value, the woman is presumed to have a social value already. The man finds it harder to mate, the woman finds it easier to do so.
So in other words, Daddy has to train the son ruthlessly and brutally in order to get those genes passed on. The daughter is virtually guaranteed to reproduce so Daddy doesn’t have to be a domineering bastard to her.
Not only that, but the more Daddy indulges the little princess and gives her more stuff, not only does that increase her chances of survival (thus genetic advantage), it also encourages her to be more hypergamous and pick the best possible man to breed with, which provides even more genetic advantage. All the cliches about Daddy screening the daughter’s boyfriends are entirely about this. She’s his child, after all, and his genes have a vested interest in making sure that she only reproduces with high quality men that will invest in the child.
Some people who discuss hypergamy will never accept men’s role in this. Yes, men play a role. All children are genetic 50-50s of the male and the female parent.
Do I think we should brutalize our daughters as much as we brutalize our sons? Absolutely not, and I’ve written articles bemoaning the brutality that father-son relationships can have on the archetypal/gender-politics level. But if we want daughters who are, first and foremost, rational individuals with good moral character and the ability to live their own lives on their own terms in an independent fashion, this “princess culture as female empowerment” shit absolutely needs to go.
Steve of Unknown Kadath
Men who choose the path of independence and freedom are often labeled “immature” for their life choices. But contemplate for a moment that the refusal to self-manage–“I want a man who’ll take care of me!”–is a perfectly acceptable declaration of incompetence for 51% of the population. Only men can be immature; women who want to live as perpetual children being the object of someone else’s care and effort feel no shame in declaring it to the world, and often to “Haw, git it gurl!” cheers and applause.
Men have already taken a good, long look at ourselves. And more than that, we’ve been paying attention to the world around us and how the deck is stacked across the board against us. And we have heard women say,”you’re the problem,” “it’s your fault,” “you should be bearing more burdens” when we call it by name.
Are we really cynical and jaded? Because so VERY many of us prefer the term “paying attention.” And our numbers are growing.
Rory Tennes
Great article. And true.
After divorce and getting some space between reality and the abuse I put up with from my ex, I am able to see how she actively worked to separate me from my daughter.. I had a good relationship with her until about the age of 12, then mom came in and decided she wanted to be a bigger part of her life because dads couldn’t parent a daughter as good as a mom. Maybe she was jealous of our good relationship. Or maybe she was trying to make up for what she missed in her childhood. He parents were nothing more than big kids. Seriously, they had the maturity of 8 year olds. Her dad was a weak, obsequious simp and her mom was lazy and abusive. Her stepmom was worse, a real live witch !. I feel sorry for my ex because of her childhood but at some point you have to grow up and realize what you are doing. At some point you have to realize what you have now and be appreciative of it. But she could not do it, for some unknown reason.
DJ
Rescued a daughter (and a son) myself…and yes, virtually all of us here have been toasted.
It is my expectation, that as enough of us experience it, speak out about it, the masses will acknowledge. it is so far askew that they will have no option but to acknowledge it as the only thing that keeps it alive is its secrecy.
DJ
Ok, not sure exactly how to express this, but even in light of great frustration with some women, I still love women, hold no ill will against them at all. I don’t participate in wide range bashing of any kind and never will.
I will try to validate that statement by first saying that I agree with all that is being said here, but for me, I seek out the difference, and ignore the entitlement girl, but ally and associate with good women, and often against the woman child. I tolerate no poor behavior, and hold accountable those that act the child…same as I do with men, white knight type or otherwise.
My wife is one such good woman, but even with her, I Can’t count how many times I’ve been lightly kicked under the table with a, “not the time” nudge, as I spoke clearly and concisely to a comment such as “men suck”, or some spoiled rant by some ill raised woman child seeking allies around the table. Surprisingly, also is the fact that no one, not ever, argues my point, but tacitly, or verbally agrees. That includes my wife and others…once I stand up calmly and decisively opening the door for them.
I learned that a Long time ago, and I can’t count how many women I’ve converted from feminist belief, by just being a decent, calm guy speaking a valid truth without accusation.
See, I did the Biden thing. My older sister terrorized me as a child, and like Biden, there was no escape, no quarter, no support. Finally, at the ripe old age of ten, enough was enough and while experiencing yet another viscous beating about the head and shoulders, she caught a right cross to the mid section that dropped her like a bad habit and left her groaning on the floor.
Caught hell from mother and ask kicking from her husband, grounded, but that was the day I decided that hell was a better place than the land of whimpering, impotent men and violent women. Later, my eldest sister, who was much older and at college, and often my rescuer when she was around, said to me, “good for you, I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself” She then had some harsh words with my mother’s husband about ever striking her brother again…and that was the day that everything changed for me .
Now I’ve seen so many men in exactly the position described in this column, that never hit that breaking point, never grew the balls, live in exactly the fear described. They work all day, go home, cook, take care of the kids, do the housework, while the entitled, lazy wife enjoys “her break”…and they still maintain the manly chores of old, as well as a healthy fear of “the dog house”.
I’ve spoken to them, speak to them, and it’s like talking to a video game NPC. They nod their heads, and change nothing, never stand up for themselves, remain just another child in the family. Most recently one of my employees on that treadmill with a crazy woman that is literally the poster girl of what Paul has described. Been telling him for a year to escape before it gets worse as she drags him down emotionally and financially, before he ends up having a child with her…and now, this past week, he informed me that she is pregnant and he is ready and willing to support her in any way. Done. not worth any further wasted breath.
I guess the point of my novel here is that if we are waiting for whimpering men to stand up, don’t hold our breaths. They are not going to change anything, but women can. I’ve seen it, even on my old men’s boards, when confronted with that proverbial angry man-blaming feminist, I never had to write a single word as the woman that had come to know me, respect me, descended upon her with extreme prejudice.
See, men can talk until we a blue in the face, and subject ourselves to all manner of vile retort, accusation, name calling when discussing this sort of thing with women, and get all sorts of head nods from men…but when a woman stands up, it’s like deer in the headlights. Like Mr. Miyagi’s “crane technique” from that old movie (which does not exist as they emulated that style after my own study), there is no defense.
Same with this, with these men. We can talk, but it does nothing. They are programed to listen to women, follow women’s lead, so it just makes sense that if they hear it from other women, a light may dawn on marble head. I’ve seen it.
Now this is just my opinion, so don’t beat me for it. Women, good women, are the defining factor. They can do, and have been doing what has been an almost impossible task for us, and from the original Independent woman’s forum, to Hoff-Somers, to the Philadelphia senator that helped my group push through the “baby changing tables in airport men’s rooms” (big victory back then) all the way to Cassie Jaye and the “equity” feminist I see converting across the internet today, we have allies out there that have helped open the door for what we have today.
I know it is never our intent to bash women, but as I constantly remind myself, that even though we are not bashing “all women” by any means, we should always make the distinction to separate them from the adolescent entitlement girls we both experience and speak of, make the comparison, because those good women are our greatest asset. Many of them want the same thing we do, and are often feeling as silenced as we are, and can sometimes feel like they are getting hit from both battle lines.
What we see is flat out insanity with what is being done to men, and many of them see it too. Many of them love us…and we need their help, their voice as much as they need ours.
Just saying, just reminding.
menrppl2
Daughters, learn what to expect from men, from their fathers.
and they learn how to treat men, from their mothers.
Then they just go ahead and do as they damn well like.
Kronk
Fathers may unintentionally raise ‘Entitled Princesses’ but single mothers DELIBERATELY raise their boys to be the next generation to do so…
Feminism- the ‘Bad Egg’
G Trieste
The commentary about how modern men will brag about being the master of their households, while looking furtively around to make sure his wife didn’t hear what he said, rings so true.
There is even a comedy skit that is so funny because it’s true!:
